Category Archives: Home Products that Baffle

I’m On To You, Shower Spray Refill Bottles …

Zoom View - Daily Shower Spray Cleaner Refill Ylang YlangShower spray promises the thing I love most: Less cleaning. I’m supposed to take my shower and then spray this magical concoction which will then spare me the odious task of scrubbing the tiles. Sign me up! The jury is out as to whether this works, but frequent showering means that your spray bottle is soon empty! Zounds!

Rather than buying additional spray bottles, you can save the planet (arguably) and pennies in your wallet by buying refill bottles. At least, that’s what these big jugs promise. Sounds great!

The problem: The evil manufacturing geniuses decide to make the opening of the refill bottle nearly twice the size of the shower spray bottle. This means that when you’re in a rush, as I often am, and you need to refill your spray bottle, a lot of the contents are inevitably lost.

Get me straight: I think my stream is probably more than satisfactory. I’m careful. I’m in a rush, but I don’t want to lose some of this precious cleaning savior. And yet, I feel like a tablespoon of shower spray juice is somehow pooled into my sink and down the drain. This makes me wonder: Am I actually saving money?

Why can’t they slap a spout on these things, like laundry detergents? (And don’t even get me started on the mysterious fill-until-this-line caps, which are no where to be found.) Oh that’s right, because evil manufacturing geniuses want me to keep buying shower spray refill bottles.

It’s an endless, futile cycle.

How about you? Have you encountered any dumb household products that are probably made to make you wasteful?


Home Products That Baffle: Double Washstand

I stopped in the dimly lit Restoration Hardware today, a store that is way above my pay grade. Whenever I walk inside, I have an intense “I shouldn’t be here” reaction. Just looking at a tiny bottle of something called Sofa Spray with a $25 tag made me want a hasty retreat. Abort, abort! I truly believe Restoration Hardware is intended for women who really like telling you “This is from Restoration Hardware,” and “Oh, don’t you just love Restoration Hardware?” as they smugly watch their husbands being delivered home in limousines. (At least, that’s how I imagine it.)

But let’s get back to the product in question. I bring you, the double washstand sans cabinet:

Weathered Oak Double Washstand

Sure, this looks classy. It probably has the flavor of several nice hotel rooms I’ve stayed in, with the hotel towels stacked neatly under the sink.

But hang on, I don’t live in a hotel where someone comes in to fold the towels and fix my sheets. I live in a world where I own a hair dryer, and brushes, and headbands, and puppy dog shampoo, and makeup I don’t use but probably should throw out, and extra toothpaste, and bags of little hotel shampoos I’ve swiped from the aforementioned washstands. Do I want all this business displayed in my bathroom? NO. Hence the cabinet doors concealing the one truly wrecked area of my house.

When I asked Mom about what one would do about these things, she said, “You wouldn’t have a linen closet, because you could store your towels here.” But does that mean I’m going to my linen closet for my hair dryer? Oh, Restoration Hardware, please.

Plus, this is $1299 – $2315. Shouldn’t a consumer get some doors for that price? At least?

And by the way, what is UP with Restoration Hardware having everything washed out and neutral? I don’t think color exists in this place anymore. What happened to the pink fluffy towels I liked but couldn’t afford? I did like visiting them now and then.

Home Products that Baffle: Pebblettes

Multi Green PebblettesSo, I see about dozens of products that baffle on Pottery Barn, but I don’t want to pick solely on them, especially as I love my bathroom tiered baskets I just received, so here’s one from Crate and Barrel.

These tiny glass pebbles are pretty, I admit, and I didn’t, at first, realize that they’re supposed to be at the bottom of a flower vase. But let’s think about this: I’m going to shove some store bought flowers (that I’ll buy myself, depressingly) into this pretty pebbly display, only to have one stalk going left and another one too high up, which will then frustrate me … followed by the death of the flowers and my desire to dump, rather than gently lay these buds to rest. Out pour the pebblettes.

So, suppose you use this as some sort of display. They look a little too close to jelly beans, for my taste. Someone not paying attention might delve in and try to munch on them. Or — worse yet — a clumsy house guest (or self, which is more likely) could gesture wildly, only to knock my pretty container over — ta da! Pebblette confetti. I can tell by this picture my sanity would be expended trying to pick these little things up. I’d probably give up and go with the vacuum.

I’m also not a fan of the hand wash phrase. Because how will I hand wash these and not lose them down the drain? What do y’all think?

A 2 lb. bag of Multi Green Pebblettes are $7.95 at Crate and Barrel.

Home Products that Baffle: Found Beer Bottle in Crate

You’ve read the mission statement. Let us now proceed to Pottery Barn’s amazingly BAD-yet-supposed-to-be-classy product. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the Found Beer Bottle In Crate.

Found Beer Bottle in Crate

From the descriptor, I think we’re supposed to believe these bottles are vintage and Swedish and have some association with breweries and taverns. But I must point out that they look like bottles someone has already guzzled and emptied surrounded by their own miniature toboggans. My first instinct, when I see this, is to toss the bottle into the recycle bin, but Pottery Barn is telling me that these are amazing decorative pieces and, oh yeah, they’re on clearance. How much do they want for these gems? $119.99!

I think the folks at Pottery Barn really did drink the contents.

Anyone agree? Or are you dying to stick a candle in this and put it on your dining room table at your next dinner party?